Introduce yourself to a chef. Right now. Interrupt them if you have to. I'm serious. You should have some interest in what they do. If you don't, stop reading. No, really, stop. Do you like food? At a deep and beautiful level? Then go for it. If you hesitated in any part of these first sentences, then shut your laptop and type "road chef and food like it" into Jeeves or Google or something. I love food. I cook food. Sometimes I get paid to cook food but never enough. And it doesn't matter. I still love it. It's like wine tastings. I'm taking part in a tasting tomorrow that I will lose hundreds of pounds on. Pounds I can afford? Fuck no. Fuck, fuck no. In fact, I should be taking my head down to the chemist and having it weighed. But it's an important tasting. Ah well.

I have no idea what I'm doing, and seldom do, but I am happy I'm doing it. So a fine restaurant is hosting my "know fuck all tasting", hosted by a friend who knows "fucking less that me" - and I guarantee that. But it's still going to happen. I'm tired though. And I hope I do a decent job.