older and up (just a little)

I felt my head slowly filling with cotton wool. It seemed directly related to my third or fourth gin martini, though I couldn't be sure. I sipped my beer to see if that helped - sipping beer always helps. The cotton wool still filled my head, but I didn't mind so much. Faces laughed in the candlelight while some fucking cool tunes blasted from the speakers. The waitress was totally unaware of how beautiful she was. I would head back to the bar and watch, mesmerised at the cocktails crafted. I ordered a beer with every cocktail, so as I could have something to nurse while my next martini or Butter-Scotch was being assembled. I got back to the table and never the same seat twice.

Two years ago it would have been a later night. I wouldn't remember as much as I do and there certainly would have been dancing. There would have been an after party, and possibly more, and that fluffy, cozy cotton wool would have changed during the resulting unconsciousness into a railroad spike driven directly into the centre of my skull.

Instead I stumbled, cotton-headed and before last orders, towards Sober Pete's car and he drove us back to Fife.

I don't know if it's a case of being overall more mature and more responsible. I think it's more a case of being more mature and more responsible more often. Indulgent, juvenile partying is still an important part of my life, I just can't indulge as frequently as I used to do it. Jimmy Buffett tells us he's growing 'older but not up' while Indy asserts that 'it's not the years, it's the mileage.' I think I'm going to have to side with Indy on that one.

Today I ticked a box on my brand-new digital to-do list. I bought the software as it was one of the indie+relief packages and some friends had recommended it. I've never been a big fan of to-do lists. Imposed organisation has always rubbed me the wrong way. My mother's a big list person. That may be part of their anathema to me. But I bought it and I've started using it and for my one completed task, it's worked. The box ticked was for paying off a two-year-old speeding ticket, thus avoiding prison or some outrageous further fine or both. That I'd left the fine for two years suggests I may need that little extra organisation, anathema or not. We'll see how it works out with the other tasks. I've put some writing goals on there.

It's cold but there's no snow. That always seems to be a bit of a rip-off.

Finally, if you haven't yet, give some money to the relief efforts in Haiti. Buy some cool software from indie+relief or one of the more involved charities. My personal choice tends towards Medecins Sans Frontieres. Or swear at Luvians - all proceeds from the Swear Box are going to Haitian Relief.